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I never thought when I started this project that I’d be where I am today. I started this project to make myself write every day and not be afraid to post before it was “perfect.” That has definitely been something I’ve accomplished seeing that I’ve posted (almost) every day, mostly hitting the publish button immediately after typing out the last word. Of course, this doesn’t help me with my editing but it’s honestly all about getting words on a page, and so great, I’ve done that and honestly I’m pretty ready to stop. It doesn’t mean I’m going to stop writing and doesn’t mean that I’m not going to post on this blog anymore, but certainly, it won’t be every day.

Many people have asked me lately what my dream job is, what I want my career to be. In 5th grade, we had to answer that question and I said I wanted to be a dolphin trainer at Seaworld. If anyone listened to me then, I would’ve joined one of the worst organizations ever and probably would’ve tried to set them all free myself eventually. In high school, I still wanted to do something with animals. My AP English class was a breeze. When I tried to sign up for AP Chem, the teacher basically patted me on the head and said no way could I do it.

In college, I started Freshman year as a Journalism major but I took one class and found it incredibly not-creative and I very much preferred my general English writing classes, so I switched and I wrote stories and poetry and scenes out of books that I may write someday. I took courses on African American Jazz Literature and Memoir writing and I loved them all, but it didn’t mean any of them, or any professor, told me how to make that into a career.

I graduated and applied to every writing job I could, and others. I ended up sitting in a glass cubicle with a headset on because of my minor in Italian and my ignorance that maybe a company with an entirety of four employees may have some issues. I didn’t care. It was the first job that accepted me in four months. I lasted there six, and then moved to Italy.

I applied to FIT because I knew that I would like working with students and had a background in it all and maybe could work that type of job without much spoken Italian. It worked for three years, and honestly, in year two, I truthfully started to believe I’d be there long-term, that somehow I had started a career in fashion and international student life. Then, I honestly don’t know what happened. Some colleagues say there was jealousy, others thought I just had rubbed someone the wrong way, but suddenly I was out on my butt again, with a little more experience and a hell of a lot more Italian, but still, out on my butt.

When I started to freelance, I thought it’d be the best way to make money and be able to have the same days off as my husband. In some ways, it has been great in that sense. In others, the tax issues, the scheduling issues, the overall market that is heavy with people that’ll do the work for pennies, and almost everyone I’ve come to know over the past few years in this business has honestly mostly made it from the connections they have. it’s all a mess. I’ve been trying to stay afloat but I’ve always been interested in other options, and over the past two years, I went from barely speaking Italian while in an Italian office, to be able to confidently blab my way through almost every conversation (and apparently interviews, I’ve come to find out) and no one has shamed me out of the place yet so I gain more confidence each time. But again, freelance isn’t/wasn’t my dream. It was a way I thought I could handle international life and make money while doing it. Let me tell you – there is a difference between nomad life and international life – and nomad life is much easier to keep track of tax-wise.

What’s my dream job? A job I love doing that allows me some (not a huge amount – literally a day a week would be wonderful. Two would be a miracle) time with my husband and enough money that we aren’t scrambling at the end of every month, but it’s not about a dream job right now, like the meme says, it’s about a dream life. When weekends (or whatever days) aren’t filled with anxiety about “getting things done” or not doing anything because we are trying to save money. When we can get Rami a new seat cover on his scooter without thinking twice. When I can sign up for Driver’s Ed without worrying that the whole process may cost us thousands of Euros. When vacations can be planned and flights can be booked and stability is a word I’m able to use again. That’s my dream, my wildest fantasy. Taking care of everything, and doing a few things we enjoy as well.

 

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