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So many dream of jumping on a plane, flying far away from home, and living a life of bliss somewhere that doesn’t remind you of everything you left behind. What many forget is that when you break the rules, when you go and strive to find life “abroad,” the rules of the world get pretty complicated. For the past days I’ve been mired in tax laws in two languages, trying to sort through all of the mess to make any slight sense of it all. If I was in the US, taxes are complicated anyway, but I could eventually figure it out because my life was created and formed as a puzzle piece that fits into the US puzzle. But in Italy, there’s another puzzle and my piece kind of fits, but not perfectly, and so I’m left trying to jam myself in somewhere in the middle, and everyone keeps trying to turn and fit me in somewhere, but honestly, it just never really works.

Tomorrow I’ll submit my citizenship documents again, and hope that they’re ok this time. Once I have an Italian passport, you’d think that all of this tax stuff would go away, that I could get an Italian puzzle piece, but the US clings to me. I can’t even open a bank account in Italy without showing my US social security card. I have to file taxes every year, even if I don’t step foot into the country. The only way “out” of the US puzzle would be to pay $2,350 to renounce my US citizenship and then possibly be denied a visa to enter. Not happening.

So I’ll lie in the middle of a mess of a thing and hopefully get it all right so I don’t get punished for it, and maybe someday there will be enough international people in the world that laws will start to change, but right now, we’re kind of all left hanging in the balance and no one knows what to do.

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