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“If I left you alone in the woods with a hatchet, how long before you could send me an email?”

I’ve listened to Joe Rogan’s joke on the devolution of stupid people way too many times and its on days like these when I wonder if he really is stuck to something that may be truth. Right now, Whatsaap, Facebook, and Instagram are down. DOWN I SAY. Meaning that half the world all of a sudden is realizing how ridiculous our way of life is. On Twitter, the only method of popular social media that is still running, the top trends are #facebookdown, #instagramdown, #whatsaapdown.

Meaning, everyone cannot handle this, so they find other ways to use the internet to complain that the internet isn’t working. I think that Facebook and Instagram are ok – people can hold off on the issues and it doesn’t affect daily life as much, but in Italy, at least, Whatsaap is stupidly essential to communication. Group chats are being destroyed, international conversation (like if I had to get in touch with anyone from the US right now) is dead (jk I could absolutely just call or send them a normal text but who does that anymore). People are freaking out, and I find it amusing. It shows us how truly screwed we are if all of this was actually happening and it wasn’t going to be fixed in a few hours.

Joe Rogan continues ” I think what’s going to happen one day is the smart people are just going to die and they’re going to leave us with a bunch of shit that we don’t understand. There’s going to be no warning. We’re just going to be sitting around, having a good time, having a couple drinks, the power is just gonna shut off….and what do you do when the power goes out? I don’t know what you do, but what I do is usually, I sit around annnnd I wait.”

Right now half of the world is sitting around waiting so they can post their next selfie. The amount of assurance that everyone has that someone else is going to fix this problem is incredible. I used to wonder what would happen if google docs went down as I worked in an office that relied 100% on the program. I just watched a girl bawling into a camera (ironically on Youtube – what if that was down too?!) because her Instagram was deleted and she has literally lost it as she repeats through her tears “I’m nothing without my following, I am nothing without my following.” Excuse me? What is happening?

I often wonder how quickly the world would unravel if all of a sudden electricity wasn’t a thing for more than a few days. Once I terrified my mother because I wanted to implement a plan that if technology was wiped out, we’d meet somewhere specific in the world (no I am not kidding) because how else would we get in touch with each other? Sure like I said right now, I’m pretty positive that I’ll be able to send her ridiculous GIFs in a matter of hours once the “smart people” fix this, but its a bit ridiculous that one problem affects three different areas of, dare I say it, basic communication because companies are too big. And it’s also absolutely insane that a minor blip in a computer system can send the world into panic within minutes. Is this really what we should be doing with ourselves? What if it dies out? What if I can’t google things anymore? What if we have to go back to (GASP) writing letters?! And do you really think airplanes could fly as they do now without computers? LOL.

“Are we sure we’re doing things right around here?” I write as I ironically use a program to post this onto WordPress which will then share it to Facebook, even though no one will be able to see it. The most interesting part of this is that if this happened to the Egyptians, we still understand because those pyramids are still there – emitting clues every so often as to how in the world they were created (just in 2016, “the smart people” found out that King Tuts dagger is made out of a meteor and just a few decades ago, they believed that those enormous structures were perfectly lined up with the stars. And we still think they had slaves moving stones across the sand? Come on.

Maybe Rogan is right, maybe he’s half right, maybe we’ll never know. But I can say with good confidence that almost the entire population of people complaining about their social media accounts right now wouldn’t ever understand how to fix this technology that we all depend on to run our daily lives (some more than others), and I think that these little downtime moments should kick us in the butt and wake us up to the reality that maybe tech won’t last forever, so we should think a little bit further out, and try and get something else done while you’re waiting for Facebook to reload.

If you get this blog in your email or on Twitter, maybe this will help you wait out the delay. If you get my notifications on Facebook, well, I guess you’ll read it later when the smart people fix all the things, and we’re back to thinking our way of life is invincible.

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